This Is Not a Love Song

This is a guest post.

Call me a friend, a helper, pain in the arse...whatever. I've tried for ages to let Paul allow me to blog and well, now I have full reign *mwwaaahahahaha*. I'm not allowed to post 'as' him though.

I've known Paul on and off for some years now. Look, I have proof...yeah, check that one out. We were doing some filming for a friend's rendition of Doctor Who. I look really impressed on that pic. BTW, I'm not the one in the combat gear.

Anyways, enough of this nonsense. 

I am here to try and help Paul achieve world domination as an illustrator. I think it can definitely happen, after all, he is like one of the most talented species of illustrator that I've ever seen. I'm also here to fill in with bloggy stuff when he is taken away from us by unforeseen circumstances. Y'know, like a job. I on the other hand, cannot draw, nor can I paint, although I'm pretty damn killer at painting my nails.

But that's not why I'm writing.

The other day I was watching a show called Cowboy Builders. It's one of those shows where they come over and fix the work of someone who did a botch job on someone's house and then some dude goes off and makes a big fool out of the 'cowboy' in question. In this particular show, they hired a muralist to paint an image on one of the bedroom walls.

A muralist! I immediately contacted Paul and told him he needed to become a muralist. He thought I'd gone mad, but I reminded him of the times he had done some wall paintings of his own.

I seriously think Paul needs to consider expanding his career and add muralist to his repertoire. What do you think?

Thou shalt write on the walls of Manchester Art Gallery

Thou shalt accomplish the task

1) Get commissioned.

I used to work at the gallery, so they know me. This bit was key to me scoring this job.

Scrawling text onto the interior walls of Manchester Art Gallery's early 19th collection is no mean feat; the text in question is the Ten Commandments according to Gilbert and George. It needed to be in gold and in the typeface "Anglican Text." This was part of the current "Do It!" exhibition, which in turn forms part of the current Manchester International Festival.

2) Panic and figure out how to do it.

Having never done wall-lettering before was another daunting aspect, now however, I am happy to say that I am available for weddings, bat mitzvahs etc. Here is a quick tutorial detailing the process which thankfully worked for me:

•  Purchase some thin wooden boards to practice on. 
• Find techniques that work and email images to the client to reassure them. 

Thou shalt reason that gold pens were

the way to go (in this case a bullet tip Poska Pen).

4) More figuring out and cracking on with it.

I became increasingly concerned that I could not freehand a specific typeface. Moreover, It had to look deadly accurate and I needed to work up a ladder so the idea of doing it entirely freehand was out. I looked on-line to see what other people had done.

• Rule evenly spaced lines on the wall.
• Print out the text in large light grey and stick the printed A4 sheets together using low-tack masking tape.
• Get some carbon paper and masking tape it onto the walls.

Thou shalt trace over fancy lettering.

• Stick the printed A4 text over the carbon paper and trace over it with a pencil.
• Remove the paper to see the text on the wall
• Go over it in gold pen.

 Thou shalt do one at a time to avoid smudging.

Thou might get tennis elbow.

Thou shalt stand back and admire.

• Chug down free wine at the exhibition preview.

There was another task too. Copy as near as damn it, the illustrated text of Icelandic artist and musician Ragnar Kjartansson. This was the easy bit...

I was given a print out with this lettering in black and white. 

Copy on to wall (skirting board). I said this was the easy bit.

Start repenting! 

• Get credited on labels!

 Thou shalt have name mentioned alongside the more famous.

Thanks to all the staff at MAG including Natasha Howes and Paul Morley.